What’s stopping me?
Certain inherent beliefs might stop me getting what I need….
Showing emotions is weak
If I have grown up with the belief that to show my emotions is a sign of weakness; that “big boys/girls don’t cry”, when faced with life’s difficulties I may be strongly defended about getting the support I need in therapy. If this is you, give yourself the chance to contact your feelings…
Others have it much worse, yet don’t complain
Why do we do it to ourselves? We compare ourselves to others and punish ourselves, pushing ourselves to “try harder”, to “work at it’, to “get a grip”, “suppress the feeling”, to “get on with it”, to “not let it affect you”, to use distraction, or numbing strategies …until…
Burying feelings, pretending they don’t exist, does not mean they don’t exist. They DO!
That happened in the past
The unconscious past has a power of its own that repeats in my conscious present… though we are not always aware of this. Past relationships impacts subsequent relationships with similar patterns and thereby reinforces a way of “being in the world” that may not be a reflection of my true self. The past matters, because all of our experiences make up who we are.
The benefit of exploring the past is that it provides insight that leads to change, giving us the flexibility and creativity to respond differently in the present, breaking the script cycle.
What if therapy makes me worse?
Yes, it is possible symptoms or sensations may feel worse before feeling better, but isn’t this what happens in the pursuit of physical health eg after a medical operation or procedure or following strenuous exercise or a new physical activity?
I am too old to change
Categorically not… New research in ‘Neuroplasticity’, also known as ‘brain plasticity’ or ‘neural plasticity’ showed that many aspects of the brain can be altered (or are “plastic”) even into adulthood.
I say, let’s start by exploring this belief…
Learn the art of self-compassion, self-love, self-care. Find value in your experiences – “all of them”. Acquaint yourself with the different parts of yourself that combine to make you YOU. Find the power to change from within. Be a version of yourself you are happy to embrace…with love and acceptance.